


No One (No One is Like You)

by PolypusRegina



Series: A Gentle Touch [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Hux Trying To Do ~The Right Thing~, Lots of Emotional Constipation, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, With an ambiguous/mildly happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 11:35:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6004414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PolypusRegina/pseuds/PolypusRegina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>General Hux will always be a man of logic and reason. He will always have a plan. Always be ten steps ahead. Except this time, he isn't sure if the enemy is himself, or the man he's grown to care so deeply about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One (No One is Like You)

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to part 4 of the 'A Gentle Touch' series! Unique and clever name, I know.
> 
> For once, it would reeeally help if you'd read the others, but once again..Totally not mandatory. The others are mostly smut whereas this one is a lot of feelings and angst because I felt like it was inevitable. But fear not, because this isn't the end. Not by a long shot.

It wasn't an easy thing for Hux to do.

And not even only on an emotional level. It’s  _physically_ next to impossible, trying to avoid Kylo Ren. The man is everywhere without even trying, and no lock can keep him out.

But Hux is resourceful. He knows the  _Finalizer_ inside and out, in ways that surely even Kylo doesn’t. And he finds a way.

During the day, it’s easy. Kylo is usually locked away in one of the training sectors to begin with, which isn’t anything new. He still spends most of his time there, even though Hux is sure he has to be nearing the end of his new regimen. There’s only so much he can do aboard the ship, and sooner or later, they’ll have to find Snoke’s outpost to continue with the next phase….whatever that is. Hux doesn’t want to think about it.

He used to roll his eyes with indifference at the thought of it, hardly caring about whatever  _special_ plan the Supreme Leader had for his golden child, Kylo Ren, so long as it got them results. Only these days, none of that is true.  These days, Hux doesn’t roll his eyes, he feels sick to his stomach. These days, he knows the truth, that Kylo is no more a golden child than a sacrificial lamb, being exhausted of its usefulness before the inevitable slaughter.

These days, Hux was forced to face the truth about the man he’d grown to care for. And in the end, he really couldn’t. So there was his incredibly well thought-out solution:

Shut Kylo out. Don’t let him in. Put a stop to the inconvenient emotions that threatened to ruin him. To ruin them both, surely. It was only a matter of time before Snoke would force Kylo to renounce all attachments, and then where would they be? They'd be weaker for it. They were setting themselves up for pain and failure. This was the only way. 

But no matter how much time Hux spent convincing himself of it, it never made it any easier spending his nights alone, finding empty bunkers to sleep in or new tasks to keep himself preoccupied when he knew Kylo would come looking for him in his quarters. He did everything within his power to not be there when Kylo came around, and it was taxing. It made him angry, having to rearrange his entire schedule, his  _sleeping patterns_. But angry at who, exactly? Kylo? Snoke? ...Himself? 

Hux could only stand it for so long. After nearly a week of sneaking around like a stowaway, he decided enough was enough. He wasn't going to sacrifice the comfort of his personal quarters just to avoid Ren. And so he resumed life as normal, telling himself that if Kylo came around, he'd stand up for himself. He'd assert his power as General and he'd tell him to leave. 

Only...Kylo didn't come around. Not the first night. Not the second. 

It wasn't until the third night, as Hux was contemplating getting ready for bed that he was finally honest with himself, and couldn't deny that something simply didn't feel  _right_. 

This was what he wanted, wasn't it? Kylo must have gotten his message, loud and clear. Must have realized what they were doing was wrong, that they were fools to try and seek something as pitiful as  _comfort_ in each other. And yet...Hux wasn't relieved in the slightest. That twisted feeling in the pit of his stomach was worse than ever, making him restless and angry, consumed by his overactive mind. Consumed by the very thoughts that only Kylo had ever been able to quiet. 

Hux didn't bother grabbing his greatcoat on his way out. He wasn't really thinking anything through, he didn't have a plan, he was just...acting on instinct. On feeling. And it was foreign to him, as if he was going against his very upbringing. The great General Hux did  _not_ act on something as unreliable as emotion, like an invisible shove pushing him forward into action. Yet there he was, abandoning the comfort of his private room to roam the halls like a sleepless ghost, doomed to spend all eternity searching for something it would never find. 

Hux only vaguely decided he should probably just head toward Ren's quarters, because why else was he up? There wasn't any point in lying to himself now. He needed to find Kylo. He  _wanted_ to find Kylo, which was...a terrifying thought.

And indeed he found him. But purely by chance, as he rounded the corner into a smaller corridor and nearly ran right into the back of him. 

Hux froze in his steps, his pulse skyrocketing as if he might as well have run right into a snarling rathtar right there in the middle of the hall. But it wasn't necessarily out of fear, not really. Surprise. Relief. Concern. But Hux's footsteps had been anything but light. Surely Kylo had heard him coming a mile away, yet...he didn't so much as budge, his back still turned to him as he stood there, his right shoulder pressed against the wall beside him. 

"...Ren?" 

Nothing. 

A bit more firmly: " _Kylo."_

Hux finally moved forward then, reaching out to grasp his other shoulder, his grip far more light than he'd intended. He wanted to be  _angry_ with Kylo for making him worry. But in the end, his fingertips barely even grazed the dark fabric of his cowl before Kylo shifted under his touch, seizing a little before he finally made to twist around. And the movement was anything but graceful. Hux pulled his hand away and Kylo pushed himself off of the wall, but no sooner than he'd turned did he slump right back against it, shaky on his feet in way that meant he might just collapse without something holding him up. In the end, Kylo didn't even get all the way around, instead stopping short with his back against the wall behind him and his eyes squeezed tightly shut and his jaw clenched tight as if the mere effort of moving was physically painful. He finally got a good look at his face then--gaunt and pale as the dead, which was only slightly less surprising than the fact that he was wandering the halls without his helmet anywhere to be seen. 

Meanwhile, Hux was frozen in place, his hands held up a little awkwardly, as if he wasn't sure whether or not to reach for him again. And when Kylo finally opened his eyes, the General was met with a dark, unfocused gaze. If he didn't know any better, Hux would think he hadn't even known who it was sneaking up on him until now, as Kylo grimaces a little and shuts his eyes again, head falling back against the partition behind him with a soft  _thunk_ that can’t possibly be helpful to the condition he’s in.

“I’m heading to my own quarters, not yours,” Kylo finally murmured, his voice spiteful and hoarse, sounding like it even pains him to  _speak_. “You can stop worrying.”

Hux let out a little huff of a breath, feeling vaguely wounded at the accusatory tone of Kylo’s voice, but somehow still relieved that he was speaking at all. It had to be a good sign, right? That he wasn’t about to just pass out right there in the middle of the hall?

Except…apparently not so much--not when Kylo suddenly moved to push himself off of the wall in a clumsy rush, and ended up stumbling forward as if he might just collapse.

Hux lurched forward to try and catch him, grabbing Ren around the shoulders to help him back up. But just as soon as he was steady on his feet again, Kylo threw an arm up to shove Hux away, giving a weak flick of his wrist as if the General was nothing more than a pesky insect buzzing around his head.

“I said you can  _go,_  Hux,” he barked, teeth bared in a twitchy sneer, glaring up at him through the dark tangles that had fallen into his face. But the expression twisting his features still looked like one born of pain more than anger.

“Look at you, you can’t even stand on your own,” Hux answered, his tone sharp, but failing miserably at hiding the genuine concern in his words. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Hux knew he had to be shaking a little, stunned by the sudden turn of events, but it was nothing compared to the way he went numb all over when he suddenly noticed the splatters of dark blood at their feet. 

When he glanced back up, Kylo had one arm pressed to his side, fingers curling in the fabric of his robes. The material looked a little torn, but everything he wore was so dark and ragged, he'd barely even noticed. It was such a familiar spot...And in that moment, Hux was practically reeling from the onslaught of horrifying memories, anxious and panicking as Starkiller Base threatened to swallow them alive. At the time, his feelings for Kylo were tepid at best, and even then he couldn't help but worry about the extent of his injuries. Now...

He wasn't about to lose him, not now, not when they'd  _come so far, dammit._

_"_ What the hell happened to you? I'm taking you to the medbay," he decided aloud, leaving no room for debate despite the way his voice wavered a little. But when Kylo glanced back up, there was a flicker of something akin to panic written across his features. 

"No. I'm--...my quarters are just down the hall, I'm not dragging myself all the way across the ship. It's just a standard issue blaster bolt. I-...made a mistake. During my training. It won't happen again. And I'm  _fine._ "

Hux paused for a moment, considering Kylo's words. It didn't seem possible, but the man was looking paler by the second, and Hux really didn't want to think about why, even as the answer was seeping right through Ren's fingers. He wanted to say ' _I'll drag you there myself'_ but realistically, he knew he couldn't. Hux was in perfectly fine shape, but he was hardly brimming with physical strength--or muscle--the way Kylo was. If the Knight were to give up halfway there, Hux wouldn't be able to carry him the rest of the way. And by the looks of it, the chances of that happening seemed worryingly high. 

"Fine--fine," he murmured, running an anxious hand through his hair as if he might as well have been preparing to just patch Kylo up himself, right there in the middle of the corridor. "No--you're not fine at all. I'll help you to your room, but after that, I'm calling a medic down whether you like it or not."

Kylo stared at him for a moment, brows furrowed, but after a tense few seconds, he finally seemed to give in. He gave a little nod but said no more as he shifted his weight a little, probably testing how much faith he should have in his legs to keep him upright. 

But Hux wasn't about to just stand back and watch. Once he had his wits about him a little better, he stepped around to Kylo's (presumably) uninjured side, and ducked up under his arm to help support his weight. He wound one arm around his back, careful not to be too clumsy with him--though it was easier said than done when he really just wanted to be anywhere but there. 

Thankfully, Kylo didn't fight it. It only spoke to how exhausted he was, that Hux barely felt so much as a single ounce of resistance there as he worked to help steady him so he could walk. In fact...Kylo was almost distressingly lax. Hux fought to ignore it though, and pushed ahead as they finally made their way down the hall toward the Knight's quarters. Hux was exceedingly gifted at focusing only on the things he wanted to, and writing everything else off as things that simply didn't matter. Kylo was still standing. And that was all that mattered. 

But just as they made it inside the doorway into Kylo's room, Hux lost that last desperate hope. 

Hux only barely registered the hiss of the door sealing shut behind them before he suddenly felt Kylo go slack against him, knees buckling under his own weight. There wasn't even any sound of pain, just one last shaky exhale before Kylo slipped under like a puppet with its strings abruptly severed. 

It was only by some miracle (or perhaps a great deal of fearful adrenaline) that Hux managed to catch him in time, and not just collapse right along with him. It took a moment, but he managed to rearrange them a little, hauling Kylo into his arms so he could carry him the rest of the way over to his bed. A bed which was...neatly made. Unused. Likely for days, if Hux was being honest with himself. 

He set Kylo down on top of the mattress as carefully as he could, praying his clumsiness didn't aggravate his wound. But no matter how badly it must have hurt, Ren was still out cold, his features finally softening a little. It made Hux's stomach twist unpleasantly, realizing he only ever saw Kylo look that peaceful when he was asleep. But before, they were still intimate moments, stolen in the middle of the night or in the early morning when he awoke before his companion. Now...this wasn't anything to be fond of at all. Hux was supposed to be looking after him. He was supposed to be a safe space for Kylo--a retreat from the cold training grounds he was resigned to day after day. Just how much of this was his fault? 

Hux forced himself not to dwell on the thought, though. There were more important things to do than waste time wondering if he'd still be standing there covered in blood if he hadn't refused Kylo the comfort of his bed. 

Hux turned away from him then, putting his back to him as he pulled out his comlink to call for a medic. They weren't typically kind enough to do house-calls, so to speak, but Hux made certain they'd make an exception for Kylo Ren. Not that it really took much convincing. 

And luckily, they didn't take long to get there--lucky for Kylo, of course, but also lucky for Hux, who barely even knew what to do with himself in the meantime. He took to pacing, walking the length of Kylo's room from one end to the other and back again. It didn't really help, not entirely. But it was an old habit that was hard to resist when he was really under stress. He hoped it might keep him from getting too wrapped up in his thoughts, which were rapidly become the 'worst-case scenario' type. What if Kylo blamed him? What if Kylo wanted nothing to do with him ever again? 

What if Kylo didn't make it?

It was in the beat of silence that followed that thought that Hux finally heard the door open, and in came a pair of medics, much to his anxious relief. He greeted them with a curt nod, and they walked right by him with the expected sense of urgent duty. With his back to them, Hux scrubbed his hands over his face, hiding there for a moment as he let them work in peace, likely performing some preliminary examinations. They knew better than to ask questions. This wasn't some injured Stormtrooper they were dealing with. It was Kylo Ren. You didn't get to ask questions that weren't absolutely necessary to know. 

Hux didn't speak with them at all until they were nearly finished. He got up from where he'd taken a seat at his desk when one of the medics--a female soldier--approached him, moving a little more hastily than he would have liked and nearly stumbling as he rose to his feet. He'd done his best to completely ignore them until now, knowing that he would only make himself sick if he tried to eavesdrop the entire time they were working to piece Kylo back together. Or…fix whatever the hell was wrong with him.

The woman must have sensed his anxiousness, because the first thing she greeted him with was: 

"He'll be okay." 

Hux hardly even tried to disguise his relief. He was too exhausted to be bothered about it, breathing out a shaky sigh and running a hand through his hair to smooth it back as he gave a little nod and looked away. When he didn't answer right away, she went on. 

"We’ll come back in the morning. Finish patching him up then."

As she spoke, she busied herself entering something into the datapad she held, not really paying Hux any mind. It was only a second later that she glanced back up and seemed to take notice of the renewed worry—and anger—that flickered across his face, wondering why they weren’t just ‘patching him up’ right the hell  _now._ She suddenly backtracked a little, giving a hasty sort of gesture toward Kylo behind them and added, "He's all right like this. He's--...stable. You could change his bandages and let him heal naturally, but I don’t know why you would when we have a perfectly good dermal regenerator back in the medical wing. We’ll bring it in the morning, and he’ll be…back to his old self in no time.”

The woman offered him a polite sort of smile, but it was tense and detached the way you’d likely expect from a First Order medic—someone who’d seen it all, who’d given so much bad news and dealt with so much pain and death that it barely phased her anymore. It offered little comfort, but Hux felt mildly relieved anyway. She might not have been the most sympathetic person ever, but she wouldn’t lie, either.

“Of course. Thank you,” he finally answered, giving another little nod. It was the silent signal that she and the other medic were dismissed, one that they swiftly acknowledged. After her partner was finished, he packed up the supplies they'd brought with them, and they were gone just as quickly as they'd come. 

But in reality, Hux had no idea how long they were really there. It felt like it had dragged on for hours, and yet not at all as he sat there and tried to keep his head empty. 

He finally approached Kylo's bed then, his steps just as shaky as ever. They'd stripped him of everything from the waist up, a thick swath of white gauze plastered to his side. Hux could see the bruising around it, dappled edges of yellow and purple so stark against his deathly pale skin. He couldn't help but be reminded of the first night that Kylo had come to him, looking like he might as well have fought every single stormtrooper on board with nothing but his bare hands. Except even then, there wasn't anything wrong with him that couldn't be fixed with a good night's sleep. 

He noticed the IV they'd set up then, a rather innocuous-looking substance that trickled right into the Knight's veins. He could only guess the multitude of reasons Ren might need one, and hoped desperately that it would be unnecessary by the following day. But that was all he had right now, wasn't it? Here he was, the great General Hux, who could lead an army into battle but stood there useless with nothing but unheard prayers. 

He watched Kylo for another moment or two--as if he needed to watch the rise and fall of his chest to reassure himself that he was alive at all--and once he was adequately satisfied, he dragged himself away again at last. There wasn't anything he could now, and no use in forcing himself to stay awake. 

So Hux resigned himself to the arm chair in the other corner of the room, curling up in it as comfortably as he could. He'd slept in worse environments, surely he could manage at least a few hours of rest now. 

Sleep came more easily than he thought it would. 

\--

Hux startled awake a little when he suddenly heard his name. But it wasn't spoken aloud. It was whispered there inside his head, like a fevered dream, and when he awoke, he found himself chilled by a cold sweat.

For a moment, he forgot where he was.

It was disorienting for a second or two until he could look around and remind himself that he was in Kylo's room, and his gaze promptly fell onto the man in question. Who was...sitting up in his bed, propped against the headboard behind him. But it didn't seem as though Kylo was looking at him in return. It was a bit hard to tell in the dark, but it looked like his eyes were facing forward on some random point, a bit out of focus the sort of way that meant he wasn't really looking at anything at all.

Hux carefully untangled himself from where he’d been tucked into the armchair like a cat, though…a bit less gracefully. His body protested the movement, everything aching after such an uncomfortable rest, but it was the last of his concerns. He made his way over to Kylo’s bed, and perched himself on the far edge of it, keeping plenty of space between them. It seemed like the safe thing to do. Not because he was worried that Kylo might lash out at him, but…well, it just did. Protect Kylo. Protect himself. Protect them from each other.

“You’ve always been so difficult to read,” Kylo murmured, finally breaking the heavy silence. He still wasn’t looking over at Hux, though, blinking slowly with each quietly labored breath.  “I thought I was finally beginning to understand you. Yet here you are.”

There wasn’t any heat to his words, not that Hux can tell. He doesn’t sound angry. He sounds almost surprised, as if Kylo was merely working through his thoughts aloud, and hadn’t yet come to that realization until that very moment.

Hux opened his mouth then, willing himself to think of an answer. But his response was caught there on the back of his tongue when Kylo finally turned his head to glance over at him, a tired sort of resignation in his eyes. He looked a bit more lucid now than he had earlier that night when Hux first found him, but it wasn’t by much.

“You wove so much careful planning just to avoid me--…and then you ran right into me once I’d finally given up looking for you.”

Hux stomach sank a little at that, his discomfort surely palpable by now. 

_I'd finally given up looking for you._

It was a miserable realization. Hux couldn't even enjoy the fact that Kylo had apparently missed him at all. It was turned bitter by his own foolishness, some small, good thing in the universe...ruined. 

"Ren--...You knew it couldn't last forever," he finally murmured, finding the courage to speak, but unsure if the words were coming from his heart or his mind. They all began to blend together, each part of him betraying the other. Logic. Reason. Emotion. None of it could be trusted. 

"Neither of us ever claimed it would," came Kylo's response, soft and a little cold. "We never even stopped to put a label on it--on what we had. But I--..." 

Kylo stumbled over his words a little before he forced himself to stop, pausing to close his eyes for a moment, one hand splayed over his wounded side as if the pain of his injury had flared up and made it difficult to breathe.

Hux instinctively went to reach for him, but caught himself short, his hand curling into a fist against his thigh where hopefully Kylo hadn't noticed. What the hell could he do, anyway? 

Kylo sucked in a slightly sharper breath and went on.

"You talk as though we've been caught up in some meaningless  _fling_ , as if I'd come to you for nothing but pleasure. And maybe that's all you want me to be, just...company to warm your bed." 

There was a flicker of anger there in Kylo's eyes, teeth bared for a second as he spoke. But the heat of it quickly dissolved into something else. Something a little sad, as he tore his gaze away once more. 

_I needed you._

Hux hears it there in the back of his mind again, quiet, like an echo. Like something that Kylo desperately needs him to understand, but can't will himself to say aloud. It's too much. Even in his head, it isn't spoken clearly. It almost feels involuntary, like Kylo's thoughts are simply bleeding into his own, and Hux has to wonder if they're things he's even meant to hear. 

_I've never needed anyone. No one._

_No one._

_...No one is like you._

Hux almost forgot to breathe for a second, coming back to himself in a dizzying rush when he felt that tightness in his chest and an unwelcome dampness in his eyes. He blinked it away quickly, but it doesn't matter, because Kylo still isn't looking at him. He's got his face half-cradled in his hands, the heels of his palms pressed to his forehead. It almost began to look painful, the way he clutched at himself, fingers curling into his hair, and Hux couldn't stop himself from leaning in to reach for him this time, gently tugging at his wrist to coax his hand away. 

"Kylo...Look at me. Please." 

Surprisingly enough, Kylo did, his wide, dark eyes flickering up meet Hux's as though he were powerless to disobey the command. And not because of the General's rank.

After Kylo loosened his grasp on himself, Hux shifted in a little closer, climbing the rest of the way up onto the bed so he could slide a palm over Kylo's cheek, gently cupping his jaw. And the way Kylo all but nuzzled into his touch, too exhausted and desperate to stop himself...It destroyed him. 

"I thought I knew what was best. For both of us," he murmured, swallowing hard, as if the words needed to be dragged out of him one by one. "And in all honesty...maybe it still is. Even if it hurts. We have to ask ourselves, is it worth the pain we might be setting up for ourselves in the future?" 

Hux wasn't nearly as perceptive as Kylo was, and never pretended to be otherwise. But maybe it spoke to how close they'd become, that he could see every brief flicker of emotion as it crossed the Knight's features. He could see the fear. The frustration. The acceptance and refusal all at once, before Kylo finally looked away again. 

"Sometimes it worries me, how much I've come to care about you," he added, letting the pad of his thumb smooth over the scar dashed across Ren's cheek. "Kylo--...I know you have to be asking yourself the same questions." 

Kylo gave a ragged little huff of a breath then, lips parting and brows furrowing as if his answer was sitting right there on the tip of his tongue, but refused to come. As if he knew Hux may be right, but didn't want to admit it. But Hux didn't give him the chance to answer. 

"You need your rest. Sleep, and we'll talk in the morning. We'll both be thinking a little more clearly then." 

Kylo reached up to curl a hand around Hux's wrist, keeping him from pulling away for a moment. He held the General's gaze for a beat. And then deflated a little, nodding. Exhaustion must have been setting back in, making it impossible to argue. Kylo  _wanted_ to argue, he could tell. But thankfully, it also seemed like he agreed with the sentiment that they'd both be a little more level-headed the next day. 

"You don't have to sleep in the armchair," Kylo answered instead, a quiet, simple offer before he finally released him and shifted to roll over onto his uninjured side, facing away from him. 

Hux paused for a moment, considered it. Deciding there wasn't any harm in it, he finally moved to stretch out on the far side of the bed, leaving a rift of space between them. 

Sleep didn't come so easily this time. 

But eventually Hux succumbed to it, enduring a fitful rest that he was almost grateful to end when he awoke to a knock at the door early the next morning. The medics, his brain helpfully reminded him, everything feeling out-of-sorts as he moved to get up. Beside him, Kylo was still asleep, looking as though he hadn't so much as moved since he first put his back to him. 

And so Hux went to let the medics in, three of them this time, with more equipment. The lead stepped aside to speak with Hux, and he almost had to wonder why. He had to wonder what this all looked like to them--the General spending the night with an injured Kylo Ren, looking exhausted and ragged with worry. 

But he didn't question it. He let the medic give him a run-down of what needed to be done, which wasn't anything so complicated they'd have to take Kylo to the medbay. But he made a point of saying that once it was finished, Kylo would need most of the day to sleep it off and let his body finish healing.

Hux spared one last glance back at the unconscious knight, knowing it was useless to stay any longer. Hux was still a General of the First Order. He still had responsibilities and duties that couldn't be ignored, no matter his own treacherous emotions. Kylo was in safe hands. That was all that should matter.

And so he left. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well. That was fun, huh? 
> 
> I can pretty much guarantee you the next one will be right back to an E rating. But expect a lot of feelings and maybe just a lil more angst. Because it's Kylux, lbr.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Leave a comment, yell at me on tumblr (theearlgreyalpha), do a little jig, love yourself, smooches uwu
> 
> Amazing art done by Katherine1753! <3


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